Learning is HARD!

The ability to learn is something unique to everyone. We don’t walk in a day, we all have our own limits and from this we learn who we are. I always struggle in my life especially in the educational field and yet I’m a teacher. Growing up is hard, I could barely understand colour at the age of 6 and when I’m 9 years old - I just discover alphabets. I still remember the surprise I discover when I was 12 years old, my real name. I been in primary school for 6 years and it quiet interesting that I finally know how to spell and pronoun my own name at the very end of schooling. Its this limitation that make me look at education differently from everyone. Being a kid who does not understand the world to the kid that actually could read every pages of the world history like its happen in front of me is beyond the imagination.

My biggest struggle is believing that I am achieving at the same pace as everyone else while trying to figure out how does everything work. I don’t give myself reason to give up, I just give it time to give in and develop. I still remember people saying I couldn’t do it or even myself say to me that its beyond my capabilities and I cry at moment believing it. Some how I managed to wake up everyday, and say I could do it or at least try.

I don’t know I’m dyslexic. I thought I’m just plain stupid and a very slow minded guy. In high school when everyone talk about their dream and ambitions, I just discover my way around books and notes. How to read a book and how to take down notes; I have to say that I got some pretty awesome teachers and friends that help me understand that learning is much about individual and cannot be stereotyping. It was at the moment, I learn to do it by myself and put aside what everyone is doing caused only by doing it my way, I could learn. Learning is hard.

Its so hard that when I actually finish high school, I learn for joy and not just to gain knowledge. I don’t valued my grades and I don’t want to be top of my class in university, I just want to learn and failed; have fun! Caused you could only do it once and for me failure is also a choice. I did actually do badly in few of my subject in university, phonology is one of it. I was ready to fail that subject, but Mr Lee the lecture is such an inspiration, he love reading and we just bond; at that time I was like ok, don’t give up and just try- I survived. Merely.

Now as I look at my fellow friends and the world today, I saw there are a lot of people like me. People who could not read in a normal way, people who could not start their thought in the expected way, people who struggle with direction and concept. Kids who does not understand who they are and why their mind don’t cope with everyone else. I been there and I see its now. 

What upset me the most is society never really care, to them is just another set of unfit pieces of puzzle and need to be mold into the shape desirable to suit standard of skills. I saw teachers who prefer to copy and follow instruction instead of creating their own methods even though they have that power to do differently. 

Its upset me, people who could deliver change simply give up and waited for others to make that dream of theirs happen. Its all start in the classroom, it started when you fight with your boss and colleagues - pointing to them that those kids are unique and education should respect them equally. It’s hard and an unreasonable fight, but I do it to myself everyday - that the way I learn. If I just give up and waited, I won’t be able to write this down and saying all this things.

I struggle to be who I am. I fight for my teachers and I respected their pupils, I don’t want people to look down at them and I help as much as I could to give them access to everything they need. No one really pay attention to what I do and nothing much achieved that would glorified my effort and work however that not why I do it, I do it caused it needed to be done and the projection of change is not for me to enjoy, its for future generations to develop on for themselves.

We could not glorified our success caused behind it, is our failure. So stop being stupid and try for once in your life to generate change. Look at yourself, discover your struggle and understand how you survived. Take your life seriously and try to help as much people as u can to undone the struggle that you and them shared. Make everything easier and beautiful for everyone. That itself is enough.