Dedication to Ning Baizura


Today I wrote this for my little Ning Baizura. I don’t really like her when she first appear in front of my door. At that time I have my own Aida Jebat, and Aida will scream everytime she detect other are around . Not only screaming, she will also chase all the other bitches out from my house. To Aida, I’m hers. Unfortunately Aida gone missing. She never come back. I think she is dead. She can’t survived on her own and it might be my fault. I make her feel safe and when I’m not around there is no protection for her. I’m a bit upset but Ning is still here. She always come around and she learn to give in to Aida whenever Aida throw a tantrum.

Ning is a survival, but Ning is not pretty. She is silent in her action and independent on her own. I start to like her when I notice she know how to play around my mood and she could read my reaction toward her. She will follow me around when she know I’m lonely and she will not touch me or force me to play with her when I’m not in the mood.

I’m afraid of her, she got this sort of rash that going on under her skin and I’m kinda turn off by that. If it across my mind, I will not touch her. I always thought of her as a slut but then I realize she might being force into it. She did appear with bite marks around her neck several time, and I know she put lots of fight to go again all those horny males.

Now I felt like Ning is my favorite. She is always around no matter what and even when I have nothing to give, she still stick around. She is not here because I provide her with food and shelter, she stay here might be the same reason as myself, loneliness. At time, I’m afraid of losing her. She might realize that I’m not the right guy for her to stay around with and that make me felt distance to her. I don’t want to lose her but I don’t want to own her.

She got her own life. She should be having fun and discovering life and develop her own generation. I don’t know her story and her struggle but what I know she will always be here, waiting for me. Am I deserve to have her with me? I don’t know but I try to be the best for her and others.

There are still a lot more out there, I got my Hitler and Farid Kamil but both of them are not like Ning. They got their own life and most importance, they are males. They only come for the food and for the fun. Not like Ning, she come for the companionship. Ning might not be my first and I hope Ning will survive between the struggle of her life.


My personal pray to Ning :

  •  I hope no one force fuck her

  • I hope she is not pregnant all the time

  •  I hope she don’t have AIDS

  •  I hope she don’t have flee or skin disease

  •  I hope no one will bite and kick her

Ning is special and I will try give my best for Ning. You are my buddy and my companion in this space. No one really understand us and our struggle but in between all those that happen God create time where you and me connected and stay together. You are my Ning. No one can replace you!

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