the rewarding experience ( 2012 reflection-final year!)

Life is about gaining experiences and from that we gain knowledge about our own self thus we can improve the imperfection that we believed is within us. It is a continuous process and just like karma no matter where we go and what we do; we need to be responsible about our own action that will reflect back on the decision that we make.

From this practicum I discover that people around me question my action as a teacher.

I been asked and interview whether or not I like being a teacher and they don’t take me seriously when I say to them that I want to be a teacher because it is fun. My believed is simple and that is my pupils are learning thus they will respect me and take me seriously and if they can’t do that, they don’t learn anything. And it is this believed that make me so different from other teachers, they forced their pupils to learn because it’s what is required from the job description. Personally I think, it is not about getting the job done because it is also about shaping the moral of the pupils to learn and respect the knowledge. If they want to learn about something, they need to learn the hardship to gain it. We as teacher need to realize the need to make sure pupils know that they come to school to learn and we are there to help them achieving their goals. We are not there working for the money but we are teachers that come to work because we love what we are doing and we can always do the same work even if it pay-less.

Nowadays not many teachers able to reflect on something like this, I personally received advice telling me that I should not be close with my own pupils and never trust them because it will bring me more harm as parent and pupils will use me for their own advantage.

I notice that within the school organization there is a lack element of teamwork and it is not strong enough to guide the school into achieving it function. Teachers in school most likely will work with those who they reflect as share the same interest and teaching philosophy and some refuse to work with those who will go again what they want.  This create division within the organization and it should not happen especially when it involve the distribution of power and responsibility. It will make the whole organization fall into a stressful and conflicting environment that will reflect the work and function of the organization. We as teacher should develop a positive atmosphere within our working environment because what we do will influence who we teach. Pupils viewed their teacher better than anyone else and if they are spending 6 years in the school, they will see this as a concept that they will learn and adopt. In our diverse society, we should not allow our kids to grow up not knowing how to respect each other culture and differences.

Pupils should learn about the skills that are essential for them to survive in this unique society. It is them who going to shape the future of tomorrow. Teachers should not focus too much on finishing up paperwork and work beyond the scope of teaching. This should not being burden into the hand of a teacher. I personally witness teacher who so stress up and behave like a zombie because he is so busy with his paperwork. He say the hardship of being a teacher is not about teaching and controlling the pupils discipline but it is all about the additional works that is beyond the teaching professions. We are teachers of many skills and we are the people who need to help the school in making sure all the arrangement of the school goes as smooth as possible. From the school pocket money until the school urination system, that is what we need to know as teacher and that is our work. We are unlike lawyer who worried about cases and try to win the heart of the judge however lawyer don’t need to know about who is using the toilet or how to decorated the judging room. But teachers are different; we need to know who is in the toilet or and we need to ensure that pupils are urinating correctly in the toilet and we are the designer of our own classroom as well as our own office. This is our responsibility and that is why teacher always in bad shape. As a result some teacher not willing to change and they are afraid that changes will make them more stressful.

Changes is something that most teacher afraid off and what worries me the worst is many teachers are still using the same method that is being introduce during my schooling time. Teachers are not aware of changes in the educational field and they are not sure about the positive side of these changes.

Certain teachers still believed that the world will respect pupils who could do well in examination and that success is all about getting good result in examination. Not many teachers are brave enough to move out from the textbook or being creative enough to design their own task sheet that will reflect on their pupils’ abilities. Pupils are being force to learn according to the syllabus and if they can’t keep up with the teaching, teacher will not spend extra time in making sure they would be able to follow the process. These pupils will be left behind and they will be the “stupid” or the “joker” of the classroom as teacher is not seeing them as worthy focus of the classroom.

Personally I think that teacher should not be bias in selecting pupils that deserve their attention. Pupils are unique and each individual are different and we as teacher, we can’t view them as one unit that need to behave or move equally the same. We are not shaping the future of indifferent and we are not supposed to eliminate any fraction within our pupils that make them unique to themselves. We are teachers and our responsibility it to create environment where differences are not viewed as something odd and rules are implemented to reflect on unity for tolerance within these differences. Within us there are also many differences and we can’t run away from it.

Let’s talk specifically about one of my pupils that I discover as a result of teacher who already give up on their pupils. His name is Sethurahman, 12 years old and he is aggressive, likes to create a lot of problem in school. When I first met Sethurahman, I did not know that he have learning difficulties and all I know that he is a problematic kid. I only discover about his learning difficulties when I ask him to write down his details, he can’t write because he could not spell the words and his reading skills is below average. He read each letters and when all the sound of the letters combines together, he can’t make up the word. He is sitting for his UPSR this year and I think that he should be put in a special class where they should teach him the basic skill so that when he is in the secondary school he could still keep up with the other kids. But it does not happen that way, Sethurahman is being left behind, no teachers focuses on him and the school basically highlighted him as the black sheep. I feel disgusted when I see Sethurahman being asked to do task like collecting teacher’s signature and not being in the classroom. Many teachers who teach him always make him sit outside the classroom or give him task that unable him to stay and learn like everyone else in the classroom. The reason for this is simple, he is aggressive and playful. I can’t imagine why he ends up being like that in the school. After knowing him for 10 weeks, I learn that Sethurahman is a religious kid, he know a lot about the Indian festivals and he is frequently visiting temple during the weekend or during school holiday. He also knows how to play the Indian drum and he played the drum for certain ceremony. I did not know if the other teachers know this side of Sethurahman or is it they care enough to take this as opportunity to change him to be a better person. Sethurahman is the typical case on which the teachers give up before even trying to make a change. I see Sethurahman as a person that got the potential to be successful in his own way. I really hope that someone will appear in his life that will help him to change his future. I hope Sethurahman will not fall and believed what the teachers are telling him. He is a genius especially if he can develop his musical intelligent within him.

Teachers should not think that pupils who does not develop at the same pace as the other pupils are failure in the real world. It is a failure for the teacher and not of the pupils thus it is the teacher responsibility to push their abilities to correct all things that are wrong. Teacher should always take extra time to focus on pupils that need extra attention. This will ensure pupils are not being neglected and give them hope that they too can have a great future like everyone else. Never teach pupils to sit and receive their own fate, make pupils to learn about picking up what is theirs and teach them how to work hard accomplishing their own dream.

We as teacher are not significant in the eyes of our own pupils but we as adult we know how we influence their future. Never ask your pupils to understand about the principals of learning if we ourselves never actually behaving accordingly to the right principal that we are suppose to obey. We are not actor, we are not joker and we are not a performer in the classroom. That is not who we are because we are teacher! If we let society to think that we are playing diversity of roles in the classroom then we are allowing the society to make our teaching profession as a joke and there is no seriousness in this profession.

I feel sad when a teacher believed that he is an actor in the class because that means he never understand teaching is different from acting.

It is time for everyone to reflect back and think about the reality of who we are as teachers. If we are playing so many roles in school; asked ourselves what is actually our primary role?

This experience makes me evaluate my own believed and I'm now still trying to find my own definition about teaching and its principals. One thing I realize, it is a life long journey and I will always find new ideas and knowledge because education never ends.